From Femi-NIST to Femi-NAZI

For India, feminism is the need of the hour, but its interpretation has been twisted, battered and bruised. In concept, Feminism has a noble agenda of achieving equality between the sexes, right to vote, be educated, freedom to work, equal pay for same work etc etc. But this etc etc does not include hating men, praising slut hood, showing off bra straps. Feminazis, on the other hand,  have have decided to throw the noble concept of feminism away and act crazy. Rather than achieving one goal — women equality — it’s become an autocratic coercion, where supporters are required to walk in cerebral chains, timid to think differently than the leaders of the movement.

And here's why they are called Femi-NAZIs

1. Reservation -  Frankly, the seat reservation for females in buses and other means of transport is uncalled for as  reserving the seat might not make a man respect a woman. Instead, Its shouting -out-loud that woman is physically weak and incapable to even stand on her legs. 

2. Shouting-out-loud - So yes, sometimes the feminazis are just acting as high pitch bitches and being heard less. The volcano of feminist eruption has been so aggressive off late that most people fear of getting burnt in the lava of women empowerment. 

3. Confused Priorities - While the feminists are fighting against female infanticide, girl education, feminazis are on their own trip hogging limelight for issues such as, "My choice: to be size 0 or size 15", or ‘why should I cover my pack of sanitary napkin in black bag’.  

4. Men Stereotyping - Feminazis have mopped all men of the country with the same broom. Stereotyping men as wife-bashers, rapists etc is just ridiculous.

Feminazi in the making

5. Rage or Revolution - While feminism started as a revolution, feminazis have reduced it to some chal-beta-selfie-le-le-re kindda rage. Feminazis aim at wearing the skimpy clothes, late night partying,  being a rebel  without a reason as their focus areas,  giving a zilch care to the genuine concerns entailing women empowerment.

                                                                                                                                                                   

People deserve respect for their actions not for the gender they belong to. 

Seems Femi-NAZIs have  butchered the subject beyond recognition.

Why should Babas have all the FUN

Going by the intensity of expose of the spritual gurus, the aastha and sanskar channels will soon be filing for bankruptcy. Supposedly, everybody and anybody is proclaiming themselves to be dharma gurus and now have expansive platforms to broadcast themselves. Money, fame, following come in tow when these self professed gurus resort to antics like dancing on stage.

Its very hard to imagine a dharma guru, all decked up in heavy layers of makeup, latest glitzy jewelry and dolled up in red from head to toe, be it the long red tilak, the dark red lipstick, the red chuda on both wrists. Ideally, a spiritual guru's attire and conduct should be such that it invokes spirituality and simple living amidst their followers. And the way Radhe Maa dresses surely conjure carnal desires rather than spiritual ones. We Indians, follow everything too closely, be it superstar, a spiritual leader, a politician or for that matter the car ahead on the road and in the proceedings forget about our beliefs, our thought mechanism, our lifestyle and end up trying to be "that" person. The fact that spirituality has been turned into a commercial venture can be seen from the fact there are close to 30 religious channels in India in different languages.

A complaint lodged regarding Radhe Maa's involvement in a dowry case brings one more fact to the horizon, that is - " A woman is a woman's greatest enemy". In spite of being in a stature of a person who can help the society get rid of the issues such as domestic violence, dowry harassment, female infanticide, she has been an enabler to these derilictions. It has not been established whether the current pictures of Radhe Maa in short dress, boots doing rounds on internet are real as they have been reportedly  leaked by another famed notorious personality, Rahul Mahajan. But, its time people learn their lesson and eliminate the third person (read Dharma Gurus) in their divine connection with God.

Apparently, the below lines have been written for Radhe Maa

Kal raat mata ka muje email aaya hai,

Mata ne mujhko facebook pe bulaya hai.

Last heard, Radhe Maa has been entitled as a potential contestant on next season of Big Boss..

Business is NOT as usual

Today is Friday..lets work!

There are very few people around, who know what they want in life. Actually most of us are a combination of "I could do this, that,there.." and some gas (read bragging). I am no Rajnikant in this regard. When I worked, some days there was extreme focus on my career and future goals. Other days, it was just quit and sleep hangover. Now, armed with the opportunity to sleep all day, all I miss is going to office and here's why

1. The Drive

While the morning drive to office was associated with cluttered brains, boss's con-calls and plenty of under-the-breath swearing, coming back from office drives were more fun. A packet of Kurkure with a bottle of Slice along with songs on FM were good enough to beat the bumper to bumper traffic. Fridays were super as its easier to drive in casual shoes than in weekday heels. I have had some of the wow moments while driving, be it driving in rains and listening to Teri Meri Prem Kahani from Bodyguard (being a hopeless romantic) Kab se kare hai tera intezaar on a cloudy morning(feeling all enthusiastic to work) Manali trance while coming back from office on a Friday eve(upbeat about the weekend) and Mat pooch mere mehboob sanam (yes, sometimes I can be that classy in my choice of songs). Be it a traffic induced clutch-break routine or a smooth ride, driving used to be definite a stress buster, for me atleast.

2. The Food

Here, I am not talking about what my mom used to pack me for lunch or what I used to pack myself in the after marriage era. It is all about the gastronomical pleasures that one can experience and indulge in while having the palak paneer-rice combo at Nehru place, the Paranthas at Not Just Paranthas in DLF Cyber Hub (If one happens to be working in Cyber City area), the mini idlis at Sarvana Bhavan in Connaught Place in addition to all the Domino's, Pizza Huts , Subways and corporate park cafeteria offering almost every cuisine edible in India. Be it the 4pm  snack or 11am hunger pangs,choices ranged from samosa to bread pakora to the upmarket sandwiches, puffs,muffins from the CCDs around. 

3. The Talk

The morning greetings and evening goodbyes were exchanged with real people. While at home, that too in a foreign land, virtual communication is the only means of verbal exercise. From Kejriwal's antics to new vacation destinations to yearly savings fiasco to quick home recipes to the new couple sightings in office premises and some more irrelevant nonsense talks were like a whiff of cool air in the otherwise balmy work atmosphere.

4. The Fashion

Yes, office premises and beyond can give you a sneak peek into the latest fashion trends, especially Fridays, when its casual attire in most offices. The tapered ankle length trousers with peep toes, slender belts with tuck-in shirts, the high ponytail with western formals have been some of my takeaways. Come Fridays, and its all colors to eyes with everyone chic and stylish with skirts, summer dresses, head gears and danglers.

5. The Routine

After being a witness to the dapper dressing routine(sometimes forced) for almost a decade, the current lower-t shirt routine feels a drag. Office going sets the body clock ticking with sleeping, eating and working schedules and being at home is more like "do what you feel" kind of drill. As per a study by Forbes 84% of American working women want to opt out. 

And I am as Indian as it gets.

The Morning Saga.....

Single, carefree and irresponsible; that's how my friend Ritu was pre-marriage. For every other thing she had dear Mummy, from giving her sumptuous hot lunches and dinners to getting her undergarments..Literally!!!

All she had to do was get up, beautify herself , work at office, come back and occupy the bed..thats it!

This world of luxury was the price she had to pay for her marital bliss because now she is "The Working Wife".

In early morning sweet sleep she has ten things going on in her mind, already. Its like sometime in the pre-morning she is hallucinating about her maid's presence and giving her directions for work. A mental debate going on in her mind on whether to cook a healthy, not-so-tasty meal herself or again rely on office canteen's tasty, not-so-healthy food and then coming up with side effects of eating such food at office. All this going on from 6am-7am time slot when her alarm actually rings at 7.15am. Like always, she finally decides to cook for dear Hubby. Oh yes, she, as a wife has a responsibility to take care of her  husband's health.  

So after all the morning nuisance, she gets ready for office . Now there is no time for beautification, all she does is look acceptable for office. 

The so called...Working Wife!!

My friend, Ritu was having a conversation with her to-be husband ( Wudbe) about their future plans. She asked her Wudbe whether he has any objection if she works post marriage. Also, she was well aware that solitary earnings of her Wudbe will not be enough for their sustenance and keep up her lavish, not-so-expensive lifestyle. Mr. Wudbe suggested that it is ok for her to work but her marital responsibilities should not be neglected. Additionally, choice of job will be his not her's.

In the flashback..

Ritu had graduated from B-school with a decent paying job in Hand. With the salary being offered, she could get all the ammunition for the aspired fireworks in her life. From fulfilling her own aspirations to shouldering responsibilities with her Dad...she could do it all now!!Things changed after she got engaged. Her so called job was not really appealing to her fiance & his folks, though she was aware that in absence of her earnings it would be difficult to run the house.

Now Ritu has two options, either to carry on with her high paying job which gives her freedom to do what she wants but lesser time and energy to do anything else or to do a lesser paying job wherein she can fulfill responsibilities of being a wife, daughter-in-law but cannot follow her dreams.

The above two options become null and void as she enters marital life. The reality is she has to do a decent paying job and fulfill her other responsibilities as well, the way that is expected out of her. So she gets into real estate much to the displeasure of her husband who gives her a virtual list of jobs she could or could not do.

The big question that arises here is, should it be a woman’s choice whether she wants to work or not post marriage? If yes, then she should be the one to decide the terms of the work she is into, not her husband. On the contrary, when some women want to stay home and raise children, it is expected out of them to bring something to the table.

The concept of working wife takes a back seat when the husbands who encourage or coerce their wives to work or have a career in the first place, turn back and complain when she starts enjoying what she does?

Come on Indian Media..You can do better!!

Ekta Kapoor has surely ruled the roost when it comes to generating TRPs and it seems Indian Media is taking immense cue from her. For a skyscrapping TRP recipe,  involve a celebrity as the main ingredient, the mango man as a side ingredient, bring everything to a boil and serve it with hashtags of nonsensical outraging one-liners. So here we have a-la- Sanjeev Kapoor recipe type news served along with snippets on social media.

Last week news of Hema Malini in a car accident was one such dish served to us. I have my heart going out to people who have lost their lives in the road accidents and the little girl in this particular one. Though about 400 people die in road accidents everyday in India with just a tickr of the mention at the bottom of our TV screen but this particular one was breaking news on every channel for the simple reason because it involved a celebrity. The high resolution pictures doing rounds on social media and TV of Hema Malini's ripped face, her blood soaked pallu aimed at stirring the moral souls of us viewers and a tiny thumbnail of the other car(Alto) hit in the accident, aimed at non-biasedness of this coverage. With basic facts being curtailed due to the TRP race, there was lot of hue and cry made about why the little girl was not taken to hospital. Had media delved more into facts, it would have shown that the girl died in her mother's lap in a while after the accident and it was sensible to take her to a nearby hospital instead. The worst is when media coerce the people to their brink by asking stupid questions about they feel after loosing their daughter? Who should the parents blame for their child's death?

Now with the accident fading off from the idiot box, both parties involved in  the accident have taken to media to pass the buck for blame amongst each other thereby grabbing headlines again. It is very clear from the media coverage of this accident that it was news because Hema Malini was involved in it, else this incident would have been hushed underneath the sheets long back. 

Last heard, the Rajdeep Sardesai s and Barkha Dutt s are tweeting that Vyapam Scam be covered more widely by media. Finally, they realize news has to be beyond TRPs!

People are sheep. Media is the shepherd.

Through my eyes

My friends and family back in India keep asking about the wow experiences I am having, living in a foreign land. In fact, I subconsciously feel myself comparing things here and back in India. And frankly saying, India is competing fiercely because there are only a few things which stupefy me as compared to my peers who came to USA about ten-twelve years back. Because now I have seen the malls, metros, the Hauz khas markets and Sakets of India. 

The most important aspect that sets US apart from India is the weather. The picturesque landscape mesmerizes with its lush greenery and clear blue skies. But the Americans are as confused about the weather as we Indians are about women empowerment. Until June the temperature here was hovering around twenty which is like November and early December cold in India. Come September and there will be chill in the air and leaves one wondering, when the hell did summer came!

The weather changes are so abrupt at times that it keeps raining for a whole week with such loud thunders and lightening that it gives all the San Andreas and Ice Ages of Hollywood a run for their money.

Chevrolet Camaro

Since the time I am here, I have seen some of the most exotic cars that I had only seen on screen. Right from the Porsche's F Type to the Mercedes and BMW convertibles to Camaro and Mustangs. Not to forget the chevrolet and ford trucks, family vans of Honda, Lincoln, Ford. Though the major part of the roads is occupied by the chevys (Chevrolet) and Fords as they are American brands but Hondas, Toyotas and Hyundai have their own space as well. Brands like Lincoln, Buick, Cadillac, Saturn, Chrysler are brands whose cars are driven by people from latin america and mexico. While Mika Singh and Harbhajan Singh are some of the few piviledged who own a Hummer in India, the car has much higher visibility here owing to the fact that its an American brand.

For the record, the Indian's are confused about women empowerment because on one hand Mr. Prime minister makes it his agenda and on the other he makes some sexist remarks (#DespiteBeingWoman) in his speech. America is very clear on that subject. With a sex ratio of 0.97 male per female, women in America are much visible in the areas of importance. Their outnumbering presence can be seen right at the Walmart billing counters to the more posh premises of corporate world. This country surely knows how to respect the majority, women occupying that chunk here.

Another inquisitiveness among my friends back in India is that of PDA (Public display of affection) by the Americans. Yes, I have been a witness a to PDA between couples but I have seen the other side of PDA (Public display of Anger) as well between the couples, be it at the malls, airports etc.

The Good Indian Garlic Naan 

Being a country that serves as a culmination ground for many cultures, one gets an ample amount of choices when it comes to indulging in gastronomical pleasures. From the burgers to burritos, tacos to Thai
curries, garlic breads to gluten free vegan diets, its our Indian naan that has caught the fancy of Americans. And why not, while here, I have had the best naans till date. They have a subtle softness but without the elasticity which is associated with half cooked Indian breads.

After having our share of tryst with the All American dinners, snow, leather boots, driving rules..we have made a home away from home. Grass is turning greener, so I believe its spring for sure but I am as confused about the summers as rest of the Americans.

Life and all that Jazz

After working 7 years full time, I have embarked upon the role of being the lady of the house. Yes, I prefer being addressed this way and not the cliched "Housewife" because it demeans the existence of women who stay at home, do zillion other things and yet other house-members remain thankless to her, at the end of the day. And when you do spend these many years working, the daily routine gets into your skin. The realization of happiness in doing nothing, doing impromptu things, carelessness, lazing around leisure time do not dawn upon. Initially it feels like being Alice in Wonderland  because you no longer have to squeeze in a couple of days work into couple of hours, failing at it mostly-then thinking what went wrong-trying again-having tea-failing again-having tea-putting it on to next day chronic work schedules.

While at it you get so lost in making the money cycle go around, that you forget to notice the iota of things happening around, not making enough time for your loved ones. Yet the concept of weekend amuses me as half of it is spent dreading Mondays. Though a mere thought of change from this schedule will give jitters to some but having experiencing the change myself its not that a bad thing at all. Because we all have the Fear of Change.

So while experiencing this side of the life, my heart goes out to all the mothers who have untiringly taken upon the onus of turning the house into a home, provide for everybody's comfort. Yet,  I constantly think whether I will be so giving  because that is something the corporate world does not teach you.

Sometimes thinking too much spoils the moment hence life should mostly be in be action mode. When you feel, you don't have much action up your sleeves, try getting into unknown territory and learn the intricacies of it. The territory I am in currently (being the lady of the house) was hitherto unknown to me but it has given me some openings in life and I am ready to embrace more of it.

Now that the monthly handsome thousands have ceased to stop at my bank account's gate, I am adhering to the adage

Spend to learn, How to earn!

My Choice..Really!!

So I got up today morning with a mystified overcast in my head. Yes the happenings around me confuse me to the core. Like this Deepika Padukone video on "My Choice". And the first question that I ask myself is - Is she kidding? In a country like India do we really have a choice to follow our choices. And even if some elite class women (I don't necessarily mean the rich one's here) do have this choice then do they need to blow the trumpet of having a choice of engaging in extra marital affairs/ infidelity. I mean they can do so without shouting from the rooftops about their choices. And for the lower class who don't even have a choice in deciding what to eat for the next meal..does this "My choice" anthem really makes sense. 

And then Mr. Director of the video (Homi Adjania..same lad who made Cocktail) confuses me even more. So on one hand,in his movie Cocktail he is depicting that the hero falls for the Sati Savitri/ suit clad Diana Penty instead of a rocker and happy-go-lucky-my choice-theory following Deepika Padukone and here in the "My choice" he is depicting an entirely different theory. Deepika had challenged the equation of beauty*brains=constant and I had better expectations from her but here she completely fell prey to what was being asked her to do rather than using her grey cells. So in plain theory a woman did what a man thought was righteous of his thoughts on woman empowerment. So rather than an empowerment motivation this dude has challenged the choice sanctity of a woman. Because I do not think having a baby can be choice for any woman - "Its a boon that god has showered on us women". Period. But yes it seems unfair to direct all angst against the Dips lady as she is doing what she has been asked to do or acting in the video so to say.

And closer home in this foreign land, these Americans fuddle me to the hilt..more-so in their environment conservation sense. So I am not really sure whether they want to save water or paper. Picture this, a basic apartment infrastructure here is such that they do not use a water jet in their commodes (apparently to save water), instead having zillion rolls of tissue papers to clean up and then they have a big bath tub (taking water conservation for a toss). So neither the paper/trees are being saved nor the water.

If the maiden step to knowledge is confusion...I might become a genius one day!!!

Happiness is...having paranthas in America!!!

Touched the American land late Saturday evening and boy..it was chilly. In the 24 hours of my journey from India till here one thing I was well sure off was that the more dearer the American dream is, the more torturous the journey.

As a first time international traveler I had the privilege to touch two most important countries on the world map..USA and UK. Stranded at airport, some cancelled flights, some curses and then the focus was on the growling stomach and its emptiness. An Indian's  nightmare during international travel occurs when one happens to be a vegetarian. God,With the heart missing the daal chawal to the core and mind focusing on the Starbucks ahead, the vegetarian buds had to be satisfied with hummus with pita bread as every other item on menu had some sort of meat as its ingredient. Cold - uncooked-dollars wasted.

American reality and unheigyne faced us when it was told that sink water can be used for drinking. Back in hotel, the big question again..what to have for dinner?  And then the miracle happened..we were introduced to the big fat world of ready to eat Haldirams stuff. The stuff was existent in India as well but not of this variety. So we had the privilege of paranthas with different filling options/veggies/paneer and the best was the frozen samosas. After the bread butter routine gorging on the paranthas was next to getting a bonus along with a salary hike. So the happiness and excitement of being in a foreign land was subdued by the possibility of Indian home style meals here.

Perhaps we are all looking for happiness but in the wrong places!!!!!